… and the parchment paper. From everyone in your life. Unless your spouse and children have watched every season of The Great British Bake Off, The Barefoot Contessa, or —– (insert your favorite cooking show).
Or you could just stay home and guard these things from any kitchen invaders.
Scissors? That’s obvious. The first time your darling gives another child a haircut, you’ll break out in a cold sweat. I got so used to hiding them when our children were small, that I’ve never been able to break myself of the habit. Unfortunately, I’m basically hiding them from myself now.
Maybe you can guess why I’ve mentioned parchment paper. The cost is exorbitant; I’m not sure why. It’s … paper. But those at home will pull it off the roll in great pieces using it for anything from covering food in the microwave (if anyone in your family actually does this) to drawing a picture for Mommy.
Then you’ll be assessing if you could still use it. How hard it is to get crayon off a baking sheet? Or you’re choking back tears or unusable words to stammer out a thank you while explaining this is Mommy’s special paper only to be used when making the most complicated bake… oh, never mind. Great picture, honey, let’s hang it on the refrigerator where everyone can see it.
The cooking spray is more complicated. Try explaining how olive oil bonds with certain non-stick cooking surfaces (and they’re all different) so you’re left with a gummy residue. That. Never. Comes. Off. Unless you take a Brillo pad to it. Which kind of defeats the whole non-stick thing.
And you might as well get used to this. After your children are grown, you’ll still be hiding them from your spouse. Your husband might, say, take your favorite giant metal bowl and use it to drain the oil into. Of course, that’s purely hypothetical. It’s really a losing battle trying to anticipate what they’ll come up with.
No, it’s better to just stay home. Now if I could just find a pair of scissors…